I came to the party to watch you dance. Cheek to cheek with alcohol. I saw you look up, right into the neon lights. Blue and green and red and yellow, kissing your skin one by one. This is where you feel at home, in these spotlights. They make you forget about the obscurity, the pain that you’ve become. I came to the party to capture the moment. I stood in the corner to see you smile. You never saw me, never knew. I sneaked out, crawled into bed, slept for three hours and a half.
You came into the bedroom to watch me sleep. Cheek to cheek with the sheets. My eyes remained shut, but the doors to my heart flung right open. You laid yourself down next to me, tired and already hungover. Not by the wine but by the darkness. The spotlights long gone, your body detoxing. I let you hold me, let you have me, and as you kissed me, I could taste the loneliness lingering on your lips.
So I thought about you dancing. Blue and green and red and yellow. I thought about the memory I had carefully made. The memory that would soften your darkest moments. Your lie that had become mine.
I came to the party to watch you dance. I came to the party to fool myself.