The warmth of her smile touches me every time. I need to sit down, catch my breath and wonder how someone could be this beautiful.
The intimacy between us, it’s in these little details of our daily life . The funny, not-of-this-earth sound she makes when she gets cold and cuddles up to me in bed. The way her hair falls in her face when she unties her shoe laces followed by her swearing like a dude. The puppy she brought home when the landlord told us it was absolutely forbidden to keep anything furry and noisy in the house.
“A puppy?” I nearly choked on my cereals.
“You had rather it was a baby?” she had replied with a smug expression on her face.
She always won.
So strange yet easy to love someone so deeply you’d give up on yourself. It’s like she broke every bone in my body when we first met and she’s slowly been building me up again, the same pieces yet a different man. Now I believe I’ll fall apart the moment she leaves, so I’m hooked, depending, in love beyond reason.
I know she needs me too. An artist needs to be around the art created through its hands. I’m the boy she turned into a better man. Now I’m the man who can protect her from all she fears and help her face the inevitable.
We give and take. To love and be loved.
Now she’s sitting on the floor, caught up in her own, little world, the dog resting near her. The candles light up the bottle of wine next to her and a soft, ruby red light washes over her face. It’s like I’m looking straight into her heart. She flips the page of her book, then goes back to rubbing her foot. It usually means she’s giving me subtle signs to come and warm them.
I slip right next to her whilst our baby-sized pet is eyeballing me as if I’m about to steal her from him.
“We can share, you know,” I say as I softly scratch behind his left ear.
“Does that mean he can sleep in our bed tonight?” she says, not looking up from the book, yet placing her hand on mine.
There’s that smug expression again.
“No wild animals in my bed allowed,” I grumble. The dog ignores me like a boss. Furry little monster.
She gives me that sad face I just hate to see.
“Except for you,” I smile. Gotcha. The corners of her mouth dance upwards.
“I could fall asleep right here,” she says, her head collapsing on my shoulder. “I love watching the lights in the Christmas tree.”
“I love watching the lights in your eyes,” I whisper.
“You’re so corny,” she giggles, her lips pressed against my collarbone.
“Tends to happen when I’m with you,” I nod to myself.
“Have you ever loved a girl just the way you…you love me right now?”
Her question suddenly shifts the mood into a serious one. I have no idea why but tears well up in my eyes. This one sentence makes me realize how much I do love her, yet how different things could be five years from now. I can’t help but wonder if she’ll be in another man’s arms, whilst he asks her the same question and she replies she’s never loved anyone more than him.
“Baby?” she senses my frozen state of mind and slowly turns around, facing me.
I can only see the blurry contours of her face and eyes as I cry. This is the first time she sees my tears.
“I didn’t, I didn’t mean to…ooh baby,” she sits up straight, caressing my moist cheeks with caring hands.
Softly, I grab her hands, place them carefully on my chest. I want to tell her how scared I am. How much it frightens me to realize we’ll never really be one. We’ll always be two separate persons and I feel I’ve been wrong all along. I feel like I’ve been pressuring her too much to be with me. I feel fucking confused.
“I-It’s just…hard to think about the times of us not being together…just not being together,” I manage to say.
“Well, we are now. The past doesn’t matter. I’m sorry for asking that silly question,” her voice sounds lost.
“The future…I’m just worried about the future,” I try to look for answers in her eyes, but I know they’re not there.
“Come here,” she whispers, closing me in her arms. “I’ll never love anyone but you.”
☆✿ ☆✿☆✿ ☆✿·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●✿✿.｡.:* ☆:* ✿ *:☆*.:｡.✿✿●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·✿
Lovingly dedicated to @iheartadamL @ishprivate @angelzide @saraj92 @helloheemang @evaheroo @hannahwinchstr @chili2312 @sarahatesyou @rizzie05 @elenatjj
So cheesy, I know, but hey what can you say, Christmas is coming!
Wishing nothing but warm hearts and smiles for my readers this Christmas ♥