He’s just like a hasty cloud. Rushing past the world dressed in grey sadness. A constant threat of
teardrops behind his eyes.
I wish I could be the sun hiding behind his back, invisible to anyone but him. Let my warmth wash
over the moments he feels alone.
How I crave to hold his head in my hands as he cries, catch the bad memories with my fingertips and
wipe the wrecked expression from his face.
But he never looks at me when he enters the room. I know it’s just a calculated thing, a twisted,
little game to kick off a confused evening. We pass our hours fighting over
things we know nothing of, just to keep ourselves from dealing with what’s
really going on.
The moon just hides behind a big rope of sunlight
as we go to bed separately. He waits ‘till I’m asleep before he slips right
next to me, close but far away all at once. He’s not saying anything, his mouth’s
empty whilst his heart is running over
with oceans of emotions he just can’t express. They wash over him as he lays
his head down next to mine and the shakiness of his body wakes me.
I wrap my arms around the storm that’s raging
through him and there’s no more resistance. He knows I know, I know he knows,
and all that’s happened this evening fades like a rainy day.
My hasty cloud has fled the country. I breathe in his scent and forgive him for the pain his heart’s
silence has caused. He says nothing at all but I know he’s more honest when he
says nothing at all.
Loving someone so deeply, in all his fragility and in all his hurt, has blurred my vision. I’ve
forgotten there are people with eyes like sparkly stars and smiles like rays of
sunlight. But I can’t give up on him.
Because every day, the storm passes quicker. Every day, he lets me in just a little bit more, whilst I’m
waiting to catch the tears when they’ll be ready to fall. I can be the light
behind his cloudy mind, but only because somewhere deep inside, he’s so much
stronger than he thinks he is. He’ll be his own saviour, he’ll get over all of
this pain all by himself. I’m just the messenger between his heart and mind
today. Perhaps he won’t need me anymore. But I don’t mind. As long as I can
save him today.
Maybe he’ll save me tomorrow.
He’ll hold my head in his hands and catch my tears, he’ll be the warmth washing over me when I feel
alone. Because I once was all these things to him.In case he won’t, then just
let it be, for I have only handled out of love and would never be able to unlove
him, even if I knew he would leave me one day.
So I watch him drift by, my hasty cloud. I look up at him at times no one wants him to be around. I’ll
dance in the rain when he passes by. I love the man deep inside, the one only I
have ever seen. Just float on by, my love. One day you’ll be a bright cloud in
seventh heaven, sky high.
Written for anyone who has ever loved this intense and has been loved this deeply in return. xx