My no one’s land.

“Loving him is living in the middle of no one’s land, far, far away from all reason.

He bring a loneliness I never knew existed, something way beyond the words “I miss you.”

Never had I called a man beautiful, until I lay eyes upon his face. From that moment, he has never left my mind.

I can no longer look at the stars and call them beautiful  without imagining his eyes to be the centre if that sparkly evening sky.

Losing track of the path that was never really here in this land I call my own, I’m starting to lose my mind. My knees, bruised and blue, have given up on crawling towards the man that isn’t here.

Night has fallen ever since I arrived here, morning never came. Break of dawn will only come when my heart has bled to death, when my crimson color can fill the awaking sky and chase the dark away.

His name is the wound I brought upon myself, the gap that never heals.

Closing my eyes, I can feel his whispered words creeping past me. The wind carrying his voice to my twisted senses. He forms every stirred gasp that leaves my throat, he’s every sign of life I can still see.

I can’t make out the words he’s spelling, but to hear his voice is what brings me true bliss. This feeling is beyond understanding the meaning of what he is really trying to say.

I’ve given up on making his sentences mine a long time ago. He’s just a ghost passing by my crumbled body at this point of my journey. But to me, it’s all I really could ask for.

Even if he would become my hunter, I would continue to wait for daybreak to come and his arms to carry me into the light.

If heaven is where I will find him, then so be it.

I will never unlove him.

Even now, when my limbs are shaking and my body is refusing to continue my quest, he remains the main goal that’s glued to my mind.

Perhaps he will enter this no one’s land, and save the remains of the girl that’s dying on the side-strip of the road towards him. Maybe he will slay the loneliness that has haunted me and crown himself ruler of my inner world, where it’s been so dark for so long.

Perhaps he will lift me up from the bed wherein death lays with me.

Maybe he’ll never know who I was, never find out that this land needs him to be king. But what can I do than continue to believe that he will save me from dying deep inside, what can a girl who’s afraid to even look at him do than hope?

Time is almost up. I hope he’ll notice me before my no one’s land dies along with my will to survive.

The girl beside the path devoured by crows hungry for a solution to their despair.

Please take me home, my love, or see you in the afterlife.”

——————–

Don’t let your love for someone remain a secret. Waiting will only get your heart killed. Love is never something to be ashamed of, it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world. Don’t retreat in your no one’s land, hoping for miracles to happen. Open up your heart and senses and don’t be afraid to tell someone “I love you.” xoxo

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5 thoughts on “My no one’s land.

  1. Something like this happenned to me a few years ago. Was my first love, and my first broken heart when i was 15. I was two years in love with him, and i never wanted to tell him. When i told him, was late, too late. Was horrible felt something like that, i could say that “i was dead inside”. But, the time goes on, and i’m happy again 🙂 i have my sweet friends, my family. There’s a reason to live for.

    Thanks for your advice, helps me a lot 🙂
    Love you so much my angel Froebby ❤

    • Awww sweetie I’m so sorry you had to experience that,but the good part is you learned a really important lesson out of it and you’ve proven yourself you’re a strong person because you’re happy again now. <33

  2. it doesn’t matter. Without my sweet boys from Tokio Hotel, i think that i couldn’t have out of that black hole 🙂 they are one of my reasons to go on.
    And now, everyday i have a lot of new friends who make me happy 🙂

  3. Powerful words yet again, my friend… “see you in the afterlife” just sums it all up so, so well. I do hope though that this is written in past tense, and not something your dear heart is going through now. x

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