Stripped from all grace

A tiny light bulb flickered impatiently above the strawberry blonde head of an equally tiny girl.

She swept a handful of cotton wool across her delicate face, tickling, rubbing, damaging her skin. If it was possible to wash this face right off, she would. But unfortunately her flesh clung to her bones willingly and stubborn, and she was forced to look at the same face in the mirror day after day after decade after day.

Staring into her naked eyes in the glass instrument on the wall, the one that reflected the complicated reality way too well, she felt the urge to turn away from herself, as if she were disgusted by who she was.

She never considered herself beautiful, especially not after reckless evenings like this one. Too many love songs, too much heartache and hints of strong alcohol had shot through her body to make her feel at ease or even mentally stable.

Stripped from all grace.

losing her eyes, she wished for the one mortal in this dangerous dungeon world to guide her through the darkest tunnels of her mind.

In complete silence, she bit her lip impatiently, her ears focusing on the gentle sound of footsteps breaking into the soundless bubble around her.

As she opened her ghostly eyes softly, a boy towered over her, balancing himself by holding the sink with his shaky hands. He wasn’t drunk nor sleepy, dizzy nor ill.

He was just overwhelmed by the girl standing so close to him, baring her thin skin and flaws in front of his eyes. She looked silky in the dull light, her cheeks glowing from the cotton wool she had drawn across her face just earlier and her eyes downcast.

He knew she was ashamed, feeling embarrassed and small – but she put it all aside, just to show him she trusted him, his glance, his sudden closeness.

He felt his heart miss a subtle beat.

She had yearned for him, the hours of her forsaken night she had spent with missing his taste and trying to wash it away from her lips with Jack Daniels. She had sung along to cheesy tunes and ballads, slurring the sobs that had tried to invade her throat.

She missed him, evening after evening when he was worshipped by others who’d never really know him and this was her routine. Trying to keep her sanity by remembering he’d be back when the stage lights had died.

So when he silently sneaked into another hotel room in another city, she needed to show him she was still here. Not her expensive clothes, her perfect make-up or her delightful smile. Nothing but her elegance to dress her.

She was here and she was going to love him. Though she never understood why he wanted her, allowed her to, she would love him as devotedly as she could.

“I’ll never love again…” he whispered, his cool hand resting against her flushed cheek as he shook his head.

Her eyelids fluttered upwards, anxiously scanning her lover’s smooth features in awe. He was beyond the word desirable. Her hands clamped his outstretched arm, a shivery sigh escaping her heavy lungs.

If he’d turn her down tonight, she wouldn’t even beg him not to, knowing that none argument would be good enough to keep him attached to her.

He was so much more the man she had ever dreamed to grant herself to.

“…if I can’t love you,” he finished his last word as his voice passed over, his heart flowing over with needless words.

There were no letters in the alphabet that could ever form a word that could express his feelings towards the girl he dedicated every breath to.

She leaned her forehead against his chest, his lyrical sentence and musky scent drenching her doubts in a split second.

Lovingly, he pulled her tiny frame closer to him, kissing the top of her head carefully. He wouldn’t want to break his porcelain muse.

He felt too tall for her, an intruder in her soft, fairylike life. She was way too exquisite to live in the shadow of someone else and it made him feel horrible to ask this of her. She seemed to think otherwise, saw it as a god’s gift that she could be near his heart and mind.

And at the same time, he felt the exact same about her. So humbled by her honesty, her devotion.

Perfectly balanced.

This admiration for each other was probably what made every embrace the first one, what changed a kiss into a swooning embrace of shaky lips, what made every whisper silence the rest of the world.

She sensed his tensed heart through his chest and softly spun him around, looking up at him caringly.

“I’m not going anywhere, my love,” she promised, reassuring him that she was still here, the pure version of herself, and brushing her fingertips softly against his tortured face.

He was so afraid to be alone.

“Me neither, not going anywhere,” he replied in a low voice, catching her smiling lips with his.

——————

I’m so lovey-dovey ♥ Hope you enjoyed this tiny oneshot ♥ Frauke xoxo

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